10 American Beliefs That Didn’t Survive Life Abroad

The So-Called Truths I Outgrew the Moment I Left the U.S.

From Hustle Culture to Healthcare, Here’s What Broke Down and What I Found on the Other Side…

Ever been laughed at for your definition of “success”? 

I have.

In fact, it happened over fondue and a second bottle of red at a Couchsurfing host’s place just outside Dijon.

My French hosts nearly dropped their fondue dipping bread, forks and all, into the pot.

I had just told them that back home in the U.S., people brag about surviving on five hours of sleep because they’re “grinding.”

One of the host’s just stared and asked, “Why would you do that to yourself… on purpose?”

That was the moment something cracked.

Before moving abroad, I thought I had it all figured out. 

Success meant chasing titles, filling every minute with tasks, and collecting material proof that you were winning.

A house. A car.

A schedule so tight you had to pencil in your own breakdown.

Then came Ukraine. France. Albania. Spain. Georgia.

And suddenly, my “normal” started looking suspiciously like insanity.

The more time I spent abroad, the more I saw that many of the beliefs I carried weren’t universal truths.

They were just American programming I never thought to question.

But the world did.

And it did so loudly, often with wine, beer or whatever tipple was on hand to lubricate the topic.

Occasionally, with sarcasm.

And once during a very honest late-night conversation in a Dublin hostel that ended with a fellow traveler from Australia saying, “Mate, that’s the most American thing I’ve ever heard.”

This article isn’t about culture shock.

It’s about identity shock.

These are the ten American beliefs I had to let go of the moment I stopped living in the United States, and why letting go felt like finally coming up for air.

1. Hustle Equals Worth

In the U.S., if you’re not exhausted, you’re doing it wrong. I once prided myself on how many jobs I could juggle.

Ukraine was my wake-up call.

During my early days in Kyiv, I tried keeping that pace.

I saw nothing but opportunities everywhere for the taking.

My teaching colleagues thought I was either broke or insane.

But I was hustling! 

Classes at school, then private lessons, followed by weekends of examining.

As an old boss back in the US once told me, “You gotta make hay while the sun is shining.”

However, one day during a break between classes one of my teaching colleagues in Kyiv leaned over in the staff room and asked, “Why do you work so much? Do you have one of those U.S. student loans you have to pay off?”

That’s when it hit me.

Here, burnout isn’t admired, it’s avoided.

If you need rest, you take it.

No guilt.

No “grindset” post on Instagram.

What I Learned: If your value is tied to how little you sleep, you’re not winning. You’re just tired.

2. Bigger Is Better

Back in the States, my friend once bragged about buying a fridge so big it had an ice dispenser and Wi-Fi.

In Poland, my CELTA colleague’s fridge looked like it was made for Barbie.

And guess what? She still managed to host a few dinner parties during the course that didn’t involve a single drive-thru bag.

In Ukraine, I lived in an apartment the size of an American garage, but the life that filled it was anything but small.

Wine and beer with friends, long meals, and laughter that filled the room, softened slightly by the carpets hanging on the walls for soundproofing.

No one cared about square footage.

They cared about connection.

Lesson: Small spaces can hold bigger lives.

3. Freedom Means Choice

In America, more options mean more freedom. Or so I thought.

That belief cracked in a tiny café in Pamplona on the Camino de Santiago.

The menu? Café solo or café con leche.

No oat milk. No double shot extra foam anything.

I ordered, sat down, and actually tasted my coffee.

No decision fatigue. No performance.

Just a croissant, some caffeine, and a quiet moment.

A Spanish pilgrim beside me called it “life, not a performance.” I called it clarity.

What I Learned: Real freedom isn’t about having endless choices.

It’s about not needing them.

4. Money Buys Happiness

I used to think the more money I made, the better my life would feel.

Until I met my Georgian landlord who spent every evening playing dominoes, drinking coffee or wine, and laughing like he didn’t have a care in the world.

His apartment was modest. His life was rich.

Meanwhile, I knew Americans who made six figures and barely had time to breathe, let alone enjoy a sunset.

Money helps, sure.

But past a certain point, it just buys clutter and stress.

What I Learned: Happiness isn’t bought.

It’s built, through time, connection, and choosing what matters.

5. Success Is Linear

The American dream has a checklist: graduate, get a job, buy a house, retire before your knees give out.

But living in Spain and France showed me that success doesn’t have to follow a straight line.

In Ferrol, I met a guy who left a corporate job in Madrid to open a tiny bookshop near the port.

In Dieppe, France, my Airbnb host made his living running his own driving school and moonlighted as playing in a local band.

No titles. No hustle. Just lives shaped around joy, not job titles.

Success doesn’t have to come in a suit.

Sometimes it looks like morning markets, homemade jam, and no alarm clocks.

What I Learned: Life isn’t a ladder.

It’s a map, and you get to draw it.

6. Time Should Be Maximized, Not Enjoyed

In the U.S., free time is suspicious. Are you sick? Lazy? Unemployed? In France, taking time off is a right. In Spain, it’s an art form.

Lunch in France wasn’t a 20-minute inhale at my desk.

It was a 90-minute affair with friends and wine. 

My French friends at one of those long lunches once told me, “We work to live. You Americans live to work.”

I laughed. 

Then I stopped laughing.

What I Learned: Time isn’t just for productivity. It’s for presence.

7. Strangers Are Dangerous

Stranger danger was drilled into me as a kid. But in post-Soviet Ukraine, it was normal to hitch a ride from the side of the road.

Strangers with cars would stop, and if they were going your way, you’d agree on a price and hop in.

It was basically Uber before there were Ubers or apps.

I always got where I needed to go, and it was a great way to practice my Russian while trading stories along the way.

What I Learned: Be cautious, yes. But don’t let fear cheat you out of human kindness.

8. Healthcare Is a Privilege

In America, getting sick feels like gambling with your bank account.

In Ukraine, I got a dental cleaning for the price of a sandwich.

In Georgia, I saw a private doctor for less than what I’d tip a barista back home.

No forms. No “networks.” Just care.

A former colleague from the UK once told me his American friends didn’t believe him when he said an ambulance ride didn’t cost thousands.

He laughed. I didn’t.

What I Learned: Good healthcare shouldn’t be a luxury. It should be a baseline.

9. The U.S. Is the Gold Standard

I used to think other countries were behind. That America was the model.

Then I saw working-class families in France eat better food than some of my wealthier friends back home.

I saw public transport in Spain that made LA’s system look like a prank.

The myth only holds if you never leave.

Once you do, you realize that America isn’t the center, it’s just one version.

Sometimes efficient. Sometimes chaotic. 

Often both.

What I Learned: The world isn’t trying to be us. Sometimes, it’s better off not trying.

10. Comfort Means You’re Winning

Back home, comfort is the goal. Big couch. Big TV. Everything delivered in under 15 minutes.

But in Romania, I once got lost in the rain with no umbrella, no language skills, and a dying phone battery, and it turned out to be the best night of my trip.

I met two students who helped me, invited me for tea, and showed me parts of the city I would’ve never seen otherwise.

If I’d stayed comfortable, I would’ve missed it.

What I Learned: Growth doesn’t live inside your comfort zone. Adventure doesn’t either.

What Beliefs Changed for You?

Leaving your country doesn’t just reveal the world. It reveals you.

The real shock isn’t culture, it’s realizing how many beliefs you never chose.

Once that cracks, you start asking, “What else did I believe just because I was told that’s how the world works?”

What shifted for you abroad?