7 Brutal Truths About Expats That Will Make You Rethink Your Move Abroad!

Here’s What Flashy YouTube Videos and Expat Influencers Never Warn You About Life Abroad!

Everyone’s got that one friend, you know the one…

The guy who watches three YouTube videos about life in Spain, learns how to say “una cerveza, por favor,” and suddenly thinks he’s ready to “live like a local.”

Next thing you know, he’s booked a one-way ticket to Barcelona, posted a selfie at the airport with the caption “New beginnings!” and by week two, he’s already complaining that “Spaniards don’t smile enough” and “Why is dinner so late?”

I’ve spent years living, working and traveling in places most Americans couldn’t find on a map: Albania, Georgia, Ukraine and beyond.

And I’ve seen it all!

• The starry-eyed dreamers.
• The passport bros who can’t get a date to save their lives back home.
• The so-called political and culture war refugees whose guy lost the last election.

And the keyboard warriors who all think moving abroad will magically fix their lives.

Hate to break it to you, it won’t.

In fact, after well over two decades of teaching, traveling, and hearing firsthand horror stories from fellow expats across places like Spain, France, Albania, Georgia and Ukraine, I’ve come to a controversial conclusion:

Some people should absolutely not become expats.

Not now, not ever…

There, I said it!

And if you’re reading this on your lunch break while fantasizing about quitting your job and “starting fresh” in some picturesque Mediterranean village… this might be your wake-up call.

Because no one’s talking about this side of expat life.

The entitled, arrogant, utterly unaware foreigners who bring their baggage, emotional and otherwise into countries that didn’t ask for them.

And trust me, nobody wants to hear your boorish, amateur U.S. political punditry, opinions and rants abroad, the locals do notice.

So do other expats.

And, if you’re one of them?

Well, this one’s for you.

1. The Savior Complex… You’re Not Here to Fix Anyone’s Country

Ah yes, the classic “I watched a documentary on Netflix and now I’m here to solve your geopolitical crisis” expat.

I saw it firsthand when a former colleague in Ukraine decided to improve the English curriculum… without ever asking the Ukrainian teachers what was already in place.

Within two weeks, he was confused why no one wanted to grab a pivo and some suhariki with him at the local kiosk after class.

Here’s the truth: locals don’t need your cultural enlightenment, “the West is Best” speeches.

They’ve got their own systems, stories, and yes… solutions.

If you show up with a Messiah complex, don’t be surprised if you’re met with polite nods… and distant stares.

Warning: If your first instinct is to “fix” the country instead of learn from it, you’re not an expat, you’re a missionary with a superiority complex.

2. Language Is More Than Just a Phrasebook

If I had a dollar for every expat I’ve met who moved abroad expecting the entire country to accommodate their high school level [insert foreign language], I’d have enough cash to upgrade from economy to first class.

When I first arrived in Ukraine in 1998 with a French humanitarian group, I knew about six words of Ukrainian, and even less in Russian.

But, even with that limited vocabulary I still managed to learn that two of them turned out to be either outdated or profane.

And yet, I managed, though my first trip was only for 2 weeks.

When I eventually moved there nine months later, in 1999, I started studying Russian since I was told at the time that it was much more practical.

I made so many mistakes and got laughed at.

It was awful, I was awful, but I kept trying and I learned.

Contrast that with a guy I knew in France who lived in Bordeaux for three years and still couldn’t order a glass of wine without swirling an imaginary goblet like Gandalf in Lord of the Rings, contemplating the fate of Middle-earth.

Warning: Locals appreciate effort, not fluency. Show up humble and willing, not loud and clueless.

3. Cultural Arrogance! The Ugly American (or Brit, or Aussie…)

Georgia taught me a lot. Chief among those lessons?

If you walk into a central post office in Tbilisi, yelling in English and waving your passport around like it’s a golden ticket, you’re not going to get your package any faster.

A traveler I met did exactly that. He couldn’t understand why the clerk, who didn’t speak English, wasn’t bending over backward to accommodate his frantic monologue about tracking numbers.

Warning: You’re not at a Starbucks in Ohio. The world doesn’t revolve around your expectations.

Lesson: Adapting to the local way of doing things isn’t a burden, it’s the whole point of being there.

4. Living Like a Local? More Like Hiding From One

Some expats wear “I live like a local” like it’s a badge of honor.

But if your idea of blending in involves speaking only English, attending trivia night at the local Expat Irish pub, and only knowing the local language well enough to order a latte, you’re not integrated, you’re insulated.

I had a fellow teacher in Ukraine who, after three years, still didn’t have any local friends.

This was despite the fact that students were always inviting her out for coffee or even to their family’s dachas on weekends.

The opportunities were everywhere for her to experience life like a local.

However, she did attend every British, English Breakfast meetup she could and Skyped her friends back home every night.

By the time she was finally leaving the country, she told me, “I just never really clicked with Ukrainians.”

It’s not surprising if you never give people a real chance.

Lesson: Living abroad isn’t about recreating your home life in a different climate.

If you’re not making local connections, you’re just a tourist on a long layover.

5. The Entitlement Epidemic

Hate to break it to you but, you’re not above the law just because your passport has an eagle, lion, or kangaroo on it.

One American guy I met in Ukraine threw a tantrum when immigration fined him for overstaying his tourist visa. “But I’m spending money here!” he shouted, as if his mediocre Airbnb reviews entitled him to legal immunity.

Let’s be real: if you break the rules, you’re going to pay for it.

And yes, even you, Chad from Cleveland.

Warning: Being an expat doesn’t mean the rules don’t apply to you. It means you’re a guest.

Act like one.

6. They Complain More Than Locals Do

One of the weirdest quirks about some expats? They become more cynical about the country than the people who actually live there.

In Kyiv, I once sat next to an expat at the local Irish Pub who launched into a 20-minute tirade about the slow internet, inefficient bureaucracy, and, my personal favorite, how the drinking culture was “too intense.”

Meanwhile, the Ukrainian bartender smiled, shrugged, and got on with life.

Warning: If you’re more miserable than the locals, maybe the problem isn’t the country, maybe it’s you.

7. Not Everyone Should Be an Expat, And That’s Okay

There’s this myth that becoming an expat automatically makes you brave, enlightened, or interesting. It doesn’t.

Sometimes it just makes you lost, lonely, or worse…insufferable.

Living abroad magnifies whatever you bring with you. If you’re curious and open-minded, you’ll grow.

If you’re rigid and judgmental, you’ll crack.

And if you’re just running away from something back home, guess what?

That thing probably packed itself in your carry-on.

The most grounded expats I’ve met, whether in France, Georgia, or Ukrain, were the ones who came not to escape, but to experience.

Who made mistakes, owned them, and laughed through the discomfort.

Warning: Living abroad is not for everyone. And that’s not a failure, it’s just self-awareness.

Maybe the Most Responsible Thing Is Just Staying Home

So before you upload your “Life Begins at the End of Your Comfort Zone” Instagram quote and book that one-way ticket, ask yourself, “Are you genuinely excited to embrace a new culture, or just tired of your old life?”

Because expat life isn’t an escape hatch, it’s a pressure cooker.

It tests you, humbles you, and exposes parts of yourself you didn’t know existed.

And sometimes, the bravest thing you can do isn’t moving to another country.

It’s learning how to live better in your own.

But hey, if you do decide to go anyway, just promise us all you’ll at least try to learn the language. Deal?

Now it’s your turn!

Have you ever struggled with the idea of moving abroad versus staying put?

Perhaps you know someone who has…