7 Habits I Picked Up Abroad That Make Me Look Weird In America

When Home Starts to Feel Foreign

You can take the expat out of Europe, but you can’t take the Europe out of the expat.

Have you ever returned to the U.S. and suddenly felt like an alien not because you’ve changed your accent or wardrobe, but because you now function on an entirely different cultural operating system?

I have.

The first time it hit me, I was in a restaurant in Florida and asked for a glass of tap water instead of ordering a drink.

The waiter looked at me like I’d stiffed him on the tip before I even ordered.

In France, asking for a “une carafe d’eau” (a carafe of tap water) is a perfectly normal request.

Back home, it feels like breaking some unspoken rule.

In the U.S., it’s apparently a felony-level offense against customer service expectations.

Then there was the time I refused to apologize when someone bumped into me at a grocery store in Fort Lauderdale.

In Ukraine, you’d get a medal for that kind of emotional efficiency.

Back home?

I got the full slow-blink and head tilt combo, American for “Are you okay, honey?”

After living in places like Ukraine, Georgia, Albania, or France, your instincts get rewired without you even realizing it.

Then you come back to the U.S., where people smile too much, apologize for existing, and eat dinner before the sun sets.

It looks like home, but it smells…off.

I didn’t just pick up habits abroad. I absorbed a new operating system.

Now I move through American life expecting quiet to be comfortable, dinner to start after sunset, and strangers not to talk to me unless someone’s bleeding.

If any of that makes you sound weird too, keep reading. 

This list is for us.

The ones who came home fluent in another culture’s rhythm, and now get side-eyed for it in our own.

1. I Say “Sorry” Way Less Now… and It Freaks People Out

In France, if you say “sorry” too much, people assume you either just committed a crime or you’re Canadian.

And in Ukraine? Apologizing for something that wasn’t your fault makes you look suspicious.

I learned early on to ditch the auto-apology reflex.

Like that time I bumped shoulders with a guy in a Kyiv metro tunnel and instinctively said “sorry.”

He looked at me like I’d just asked him to smile for a selfie.

Back in the U.S., though, not constantly apologizing comes off like I’ve gone full sociopath.

I’ve had cashiers, Uber drivers, even old friends stare at me after a silence, waiting for that good ol’ American fake polite “sorry”.

I’ve got nothing to give them. It’s not rudeness.

It’s just that the word actually means something to me now.

The shift? Not saying “sorry” every five seconds might make you seem cold in America.

But in Europe, it makes you honest.

And a little honesty never hurt anyone, except maybe a few fragile egos.

2. I Pack for Grocery Stores Like I’m Going Camping

After a stretch in France, years in Ukraine, and living a short mountain hike way from any store in Saranda, Albania, I don’t just walk to the grocery store anymore.

I prepare for it like a multi-day trek through the Pyrenees.

• Reusable backpack? Check.
• Foldable bags tucked into coat pockets? Check.
• Emergency cash for when the credit card machine suddenly stops working mid-transaction? You better believe it!

One time in Kyiv, I showed up to a local market with nothing but optimism and a plastic bag. Big mistake!

I left juggling eggs, cabbage, and what I think was a live carp.

Lesson learned.

Now, even at my local Trader Joe’s in the U.S., I pull out my backpack and start packing my own groceries before the cashier finishes scanning.

People either think I’m ex-military or on the run.

But if living abroad teaches you anything, it’s that being prepared isn’t weird, it’s smart.

What changed? I stopped expecting convenience. Abroad, no one packs your bags or offers free anything.

So now, I operate on muscle memory. And I don’t apologize for it.

3. I Eat Dinner at 9PM and My Friends Think I’ve Lost It

In France, dinner at 9PM is perfectly civilized. In Spain, it’s early.

In America, people look at me like I’ve joined a cult.

Suggest dinner after 8 and you’ll get the same reaction as people who bring tuna to the office microwave.

While I was living in France, I slipped into the rhythm: coffee, errands, a bit of work, then dinner that didn’t even start until the sun had long past set.

Food wasn’t just fuel.

It was conversation, connection, a slow unraveling of the day over wine and second helpings.

Back in the U.S., I have friends who think a 5:30 dinner at Applebee’s is cutting-edge indulgence.

The difference? In Europe, dinner means connection. In the U.S., it’s a refuel stop.

I’ll take the long, late dinners every time.

4. I Expect Trains to Be On Time… Oops

In Poland and Germany, when a train is two minutes late, there’s an apology on the loudspeaker.

In the U.S., if your Amtrak shows up at all, it’s considered a blessing.

After years of using public transit across Europe, I developed this wild expectation that things might run on time (except trains in Germany). My bad.

Now, when I hear an announcement that my train will be arriving 27 minutes late, I instinctively look around for a staff member to apologize.

Instead, I find empty vending machines and broken speakers crackling something unintelligible.

What stuck with me? Punctuality isn’t just about being on time. It’s about respect.

Back home, my expectations just make me look uptight.

But I still can’t unlearn what a working system feels like.

5. I Don’t Smile at Strangers Anymore… And I’m Okay With That

In Ukraine, smiling at someone for no reason gets you either a suspicious glare or trigger a passport check.

I got used to saving my smiles for actual funny moments or connection.

Now, back in the States, people think I’m either in a bad mood or plotting something.

I’ve had multiple store clerks ask if I’m “doing okay today” just because I didn’t beam like I was auditioning for a toothpaste commercial.

The cultural shift? In many places abroad, a smile means something.

In the U.S., it’s often just default setting.

I’ve learned to appreciate sincerity over performance.

6. I Bring My Own Bag Everywhere… and Judge Those Who Don’t

Living in France, Ukraine and Georgia cured me of the American habit of expecting bags, straws, and cutlery to magically appear.

You bring your own, or you go without.

It’s not a political statement. It’s just common sense.

Now, when I see someone double-bagging a bottle of water in the U.S., my eye twitches.

I’ve literally handed strangers my spare tote bag before.

One woman at Whole Foods thought I was trying to recruit her into a pyramid scheme.

Why it matters? Once you see how easy it is to not waste stuff, it’s hard to go back.

Europe taught me the quiet dignity of carrying your own bag like an adult.

7. I Can Sit Quietly Without Panicking (A European Skill)

Silence used to make me uncomfortable. I’d fill every pause with chatter, jokes, questions, anything.

But after spending time in cafes in places like Georgia or Ukraine, I realized not every second needs to be filled.

There’s a certain calm in being around people who don’t fear the silence.

I’ve sat through full lunches where no one said more than a few words, and not once did I feel awkward.

Back in the U.S., a ten-second pause sends people scrambling to check their phones or change the subject.

What I learned? Silence isn’t emptiness. It’s presence.

And once you get used to it, it’s actually kind of nice.

You Don’t Come Home the Same Person

Living abroad isn’t about reinventing yourself. It’s about slowly realizing that the way you used to do things wasn’t the only way.

The habits I picked up in Albania, Ukraine, Georgia, and beyond didn’t just change my routines.

They changed my instincts.

And that’s the weirdest part.

You don’t even notice it happening, until you come home and start getting side-eyed for not smiling enough or for eating dinner when everyone else is brushing their teeth.

What about you?

What cultural habit followed you home and now makes you feel like a stranger in your own country?