8 Expat Myths I Believed… Until Real Life Abroad Smacked Me In The Face!

Expat Life Isn’t What Instagram Promised… Here’s Why!

They promised freedom, escape, adventure, and transformation. What I got was confusion, loneliness, and a whole lot of runaround…

I thought moving abroad would make me worldly.

Effortlessly multilingual. 

That mysterious expat in a tucked-away French café, sipping espresso and scribbling in a leather journal.

Locals nodding in quiet admiration, like I’d just stepped out of a Hemingway novel.

Uh, yeah… no, not quite.

Instead, I ended up locked inside a Ukrainian government office for five hours because I misunderstood the word for “queue” and accidentally cut in front of twenty pensioners with umbrellas.

I imagined I’d soak up foreign languages just by breathing the air in Albania or eavesdropping at a Georgian puri (bread) stand.

I figured people would take one look at me. Clearly a foreigner with good intentions, and instantly want to help, guide, or at the very least, not stare at me like I’d just landed from Mars.

In my head, everything would be cheaper, smoother, and somehow sexier.

Even the bureaucracy.

Guess what? It wasn’t.

Instead, I found myself in Strasbourg hunting around for a bank that still exchanged foreign currency, years after the Euro took over.

Gagging on a sample of an overly salted cheese bomb in a Georgian grocery store.

And Googling “how long can a human survive without social interaction” while sitting alone in a one-bedroom apartment in Saranda, Albania during the off-season.

I had bought into all the myths, every single postcard-perfect fantasy about expat life that influencers and travel gurus quietly sell.

But as someone who’s lived, worked, and fumbled through places like Ukraine, Albania, Georgia, France and beyond, not just passed through on a two-week “find yourself” sabbatical, I can tell you this: the myths don’t die quickly. 

They go down swinging!

Here are the 8 myths I believed about life abroad, before the reality slapped the croissant out of my hand.

1. “You’ll Learn the Language Just by Living There”

That’s what I told myself while nervously fumbling through the Kyiv metro with a pocket phrasebook in one hand and a melting Snickers bar in the other.

I figured that if I just surrounded myself with the language, my brain would soak it up like a sponge.

Instead, my brain did what it usually does under pressure, panicked and betrayed me.

I once tried to order a coffee with milk in Russian.

What I actually said was “кофе с муком”, coffee with flour.

The server paused, gave me a pitying look, and said, “You sure you don’t want sugar instead?”

Then the server blinked, turned to the barman, and whispered something that absolutely included the word “foreigner.”

Reality check: You can’t just live in a country and expect fluency to magically attach itself to your tongue.

You’ve got to study, screw up, repeat… and then screw up again.

Fluency isn’t absorbed, it’s wrestled into submission.

2. “It’s Always Cheaper Abroad”

Sure, lunch in Albania cost me less than a Starbucks latte. But then came the revenge of the German train system.

I was in Karlsruhe, missed my connection by 30 seconds, and figured, no big deal, I’ll just hop on the next one.

No ticket for that specific train? 

No mercy.

The conductor smiled, nodded, and handed me a fine for 60 euros.

All for the privilege of standing in the aisle next to a teenager blasting TikTok clips at full volume through a cracked phone speaker.

Reality check: Some countries are cheaper for certain things. Rent. Groceries. Haircuts by old men with scissors from the Cold War.

But others? 

They’ll gut your budget faster than a Parisian waiter can snub you.

Do your homework. And always keep a secret “this country lied to me” fund.

3. “Locals Will Help You Adapt”

I walked into a Ukrainian post office thinking I could buy stamps.

I left 45 minutes later, empty-handed, emotionally broken, and still unsure if I’d accidentally applied for a small business license.

Don’t get me wrong, there are kind locals out there.

I’ve had babushkas guide me to the correct marshrutka and Georgian grandmothers stuff Churchkhela into my bag like edible bribes.

But expecting strangers to act as your personal adaptation sherpas?

That’s a fantasy.

Reality check: Most people are just trying to live their own lives, not help you decode yours.

Want to adapt? Learn the basics. Observe. Mess up. Say sorry. Try again.

4. “The Bureaucracy Can’t Be Worse Than Back Home”

I once tried to register for residency in Kyiv. I arrived with five documents.

I left needing a few more, one of which required notarization, a translation, a second translation confirming the first translation, and a certificate proving that I had, in fact, existed on planet Earth for at least the last ten years.

And this was the easy process.

Back home, I complained about the DMV.

Abroad? I started to miss the DMV.

At least they didn’t require a rubber stamp from a woman named Svetlana Petrovna who only worked Tuesdays from 9:07–9:42 a.m.

Reality check: Bureaucracy abroad isn’t better. It’s just got new fonts and unfamiliar scowls.

5. “You’ll Feel More Relaxed Living Abroad”

Cue me, sitting on a Bulgarian bus that had missed three of its stops because I forgot the word for “stop” and had been too afraid to push the button.

By the time I realized I was headed toward the Turkish border, I was already sweating through my t-shirt, choking back a minor emotional collapse, and wondering if my Google Translate app had ghosted me.

Living abroad isn’t less stressful. It’s just differently stressful.

Instead of dealing with your boss’s passive-aggressive Slack messages, you’re now trying to explain to a Romanian pharmacist why you need heartburn medication without accidentally miming a heart attack.

Reality check: The stress is real.

Just remember: You’re not alone. And it will become your next funny story.

Eventually.

6. “It’s Easy to Make Friends”

I once went to a “language exchange night” in Kyiv where everyone clutched their drinks like emotional armor and swapped small talk so awkward, it made middle school dances look smooth.

I left with three business cards, zero friends, and a deep existential sadness.

Making friends as an adult is already hard.

Now add a language barrier, cultural norms you don’t understand, and your own chronic expat fatigue. Voilà! You’ve got yourself an uphill social marathon.

Reality check: Lesson? Show up. Stay curious. And accept that you might have more coffee dates that go nowhere than you’d like.

But when the real ones do show up? They’re worth the wait.

7. “You’ll Finally Discover Who You Really Are”

I thought I’d find myself in Ukraine. What I found was that I missed Target. A lot.

I realized that so much of who I thought I was, my habits, identity, even my sense of humor, was propped up by the comforts and context of my home culture.

Take that away, and I was just a confused guy trying to figure out how to pay bills in a language I barely understood.

Reality check: Living abroad will teach you about yourself.

But be prepared: the lesson plan includes homesickness, confusion, and occasional identity crises.

And that’s the point!

8. “You’ll Never Want to Go Back Home”

Ever teared up in a mom and pop store over a bag of Cheetos?

I have!

Somewhere near my ex-girlfriend’s dacha outside Kyiv, in a dusty village where the only other snack option looked like dried fish and regret.

I spotted a familiar orange bag that looked like a care package from civilization.

I tore into it like it was oxygen, and then realized… something tasted off.

Like someone had dusted them with sugar and despair.

That was the moment it hit me: sometimes, you just want the version of “home” that makes sense.

• Where people get your old T.V. shows and movie references.
• Where cake doesn’t taste like bagels.
• Where you don’t need subtitles for the cashier.

It doesn’t mean you failed abroad. It means you’re human.

You can miss home and still love where you are.

The Myths Don’t Die Quietly

They seduce you with travel-porn Instagram reels and stories from that one friend who “just moved to Lisbon and is thriving.”

But once you’re actually in it, these myths start unraveling fast.

Living abroad is not a shortcut to happiness. It’s not an escape hatch or a constant vacation.

It’s real life, just in a different language, with unfamiliar rules, and new ways to accidentally offend strangers.

But once the myths fall away? That’s where the real magic begins.

What about you?

What myth did you believe before making the leap abroad? 

I promise, we’ve all been there.