9 Ridiculous Misunderstandings Abroad That Made Me “That Foreigner”

How to Embarrass Yourself Across Borders Without Even Trying

From Funeral Flowers to Insulting a Man’s Wife, These Awkward Moments Will Make You Laugh and Teach You What Not to Do Abroad

The Art of Being Gloriously Lost in Translation

Have you ever confidently ordered a local dish only to discover it’s made of something you didn’t know was edible? 

Welcome to my life abroad, where every interaction is a potential SNL comedy sketch and cultural confusion follows me around like a bad credit score.

Take Ukraine, for example. 

I once congratulated a woman on her birthday by giving her a bouquet of even-numbered flowers. 

She looked at me like I’d just cursed her bloodline. 

A former colleague of mine in Spain once tried to say “I’m embarrassed” (“Estoy avergonzada”), but instead told an entire classroom she was pregnant (“Estoy embarazada”).

Language barriers don’t care how many apps you’ve downloaded.

They will find you and they will humble you.

After years of living in and traveling through places like Georgia, Albania, Bulgaria, Ukraine and France, I didn’t just collect passport stamps.

I built a personal blooper reel of cultural facepalms that still make my former students laugh harder than anything I ever taught them.

And I taught English, mind you. Professionally!

So no, this isn’t a survival guide. It’s a cautionary tale.

A chance for you to laugh at my mistakes before you make them yourself.

Or if you’re like me, to make them anyway and just have better stories to tell at dinner parties.

Let’s get into the nine most ridiculous misunderstandings I’ve had abroad. 

And guess what? 

One involves pharmacy laxatives, and none of them involve dignity.

1. The Birthday Bouquet That Meant “I Hope You Die”

In Ukraine, giving flowers is a lovely gesture… unless you give the wrong number.

I showed up to a birthday party with a big smile and a perfectly arranged bouquet, twelve roses, no less.

Her face froze. The room went quiet.

Turns out, even-numbered flowers are for funerals.

I may as well have handed her a sympathy card with a cupcake.

What to remember: When buying flowers abroad, always ask a local first.

In some countries, your bouquet might be a celebration.

In others, it’s a funeral arrangement.

2. The “Bathroom” That Was Actually a Brothel

In a small town in Bulgaria, I desperately needed a bathroom. I’d just downed a bottle of mineral water, and I was panicking.

I walked into a café and confidently asked for the “banya.”

The woman behind the counter raised an eyebrow.

Then she smirked. 

What I didn’t realize was that in this part of town, “bathhouse” was a code word for something else.

It wasn’t about washing up or relieving yourself in the usual way, but more about questionable decisions and services charged by the hour.

What to remember: Not every word-for-word translation lands the same.

Just because it’s in the dictionary doesn’t mean you should say it out loud.

3. Calling a French Man’s Wife “Good” and Instantly Regretting It

In France, I once thought I was giving the perfect compliment.

We were at a dinner party in town outside of Strasbourg, the wine was flowing, and I raised my glass to honor our host’s wife.

I called her a bonne femme, thinking I was praising her as a “good woman.”

I thought I was being charming yet again, right?

The room went silent. She looked like she’d swallowed a lemon.

Her husband gave me a look I can only describe as politely murderous.

Later, a friend pulled me aside and explained I hadn’t just complimented her. 

I’d reduced her to a 1950s housewife or, worse, made it sound like “I was calling her hot in a sleazy kind of way”.

Turns out, “bonne” in France isn’t always a compliment. Sometimes it’s just… creepy.

What to remember: Words don’t always travel well.

In France, calling someone “good” might earn you a smile, or a slap.

When in doubt, just stick to “charmante.” It’s safer.

4. Google Translate Said Chicken Skewers. It Meant Cold Liver Soup with Mystery Floaties

In Georgia, I was starving. I opened Google Translate, typed in “grilled chicken,” and pointed to the result like a confident tourist who thought he’d hacked the local food scene.

The waiter nodded, disappeared into the kitchen, and returned with a bowl of greyish broth containing something that looked like it had its own opinions.

It wasn’t chicken and it wasn’t grilled.

It might have been liver. It might have been brains. Who knows?

It was cold, slightly gelatinous, and the waiter looked thrilled to present what was probably his grandmother’s prized recipe.

I smiled, nodded, took a bite, and briefly reconsidered every life decision that had led me to that moment.

What to remember: In Georgia, don’t trust Google Translate with your stomach.

When in doubt, ask a real human. Technology can get you in trouble and your stomach will thank you.

5. Toasting to Death Instead of Health in Georgia

At my first supra in Tbilisi, I wanted to impress. I asked the guy next to me how to say “to your health” in Georgian.

He was a few glasses deep and clearly not loving the spotlight I was getting as the token foreigner.

Whether it was his twisted dark sense of humor or a subtle attempt to knock me down a notch, he leaned in and whispered something that sounded impressive enough.

I stood up, repeated it proudly, and delivered what turned out to be a toast… to death. Sikvdilze.

The room went silent, then burst out laughing. I joined in, but only because crawling under the table felt too dramatic.

What to remember: In Georgia, toasts matter. So does your source.

Never trust the guy with wine-stained teeth and something to prove.

6. The Sauna That Taught Me to Never Assume Anything About Nudity

In Poland, I was invited to a local spa just outside Kraków. I packed my swimsuit, towel, and the deeply ingrained modesty of an American raised to fear high school locker rooms.

Imagine my surprise when I stepped into the sauna and was greeted by three completely naked strangers who barely looked up.

They were relaxed. I was… not.

I tightened my towel like it was body armor and tried to look European and unbothered.

I failed.

What to remember: Nudity rules change by country, region, and even spa.

When in doubt, do a little recon before walking into a steam-filled cultural ambush.

7. Lost in Translation at the Pharmacy: Cough Syrup or Colon Cleanse?

In Albania, I came down with a cold. I marched into a pharmacy, pointed to my throat, and mimed coughing.

The pharmacist nodded, handed me a bottle, and gave me a thumbs up.

Twelve hours later, I was nowhere near cured, but I was extremely… empty.

What to remember: Always read the label, and if you can, bring a bilingual friend.

Your digestive system will appreciate the extra effort.

8. The Backpack That Made Me Look Like a Threat

I was on a Swiss train headed toward the Italian border, riding in second class with a large backpack, a duffle bag, and the unmistakable air of a slightly disheveled traveler.

Just before the border, two stern-faced Italian officers stepped into the carriage and made a beeline for me like they’d been waiting all day for this moment.

They asked for my documents, then unzipped every compartment of my bag like they were expecting a black-market espresso machine to fall out.

I smiled nervously, which apparently made me look even more suspicious.

If I had said a single word in Italian, I might have gotten away cleaner.

Instead, I just sat there thinking, “Should’ve worn something less… backpack-y.”

What to remember: On cross-border trains, looking like a tourist is fine.

Looking like a mobile garage sale? That gets you searched.

9. Trying to Haggle in a No-Haggle Country

At a souvenir stand in France, I tried to negotiate the price of a small figurine.

The vendor looked offended. I thought he was joking.

He wasn’t.

I offered a lower price again, smiling.

He took the figurine back and told me, in very clear French, that this was not Morocco.

What to remember: Haggling is a sport in some places. In others, it’s an insult.

Know the rules before you start playing.

The Universal Language of Embarrassment

Living abroad is equal parts adventure and accidental comedy.

You can study the culture, learn the language, and still end up toasting to someone’s funeral or gifting them grave flowers on their birthday.

But that’s the beauty of it.

These moments are reminders that you’re human, that you’re learning, and that the best travel stories come from the worst misunderstandings.

What’s your most awkward cultural fail abroad? 

I’ve already embarrassed myself, now it’s your turn.