9 Unwritten Rules In The U.S. That Completely Confuse Foreigners And How To Navigate Them!

Welcome to the Land of Unspoken Expectations: Navigating the U.S. Like a Local

From Tipping and Smiling to Small Talk, These American Customs Leave Visitors Scratching Their Heads: Here’s What You Need to Know!

The One Question That Nearly Got Me Exiled from a German Supermarket

I was in line at a supermarket in Frankfurt when I made a critical error.

The cashier froze. The man behind me audibly sighed. The woman Tetris-stacking her groceries shot me a look of pure disgust.

What had I done? 

• Cut in line?
• Started a riot? 
• Insulted their beer?

Worse!

I had asked the cashier, “How are you?”

Yankee traveler mistake!

In Germany, supermarkets are a no-nonsense battlefield, no small talk, no delays, and definitely no fumbling for change.

Your groceries come flying at you at warp speed, and if you’re not packing like an Olympic athlete, you’re already too slow.

By the time I stumbled out, sweating and clutching a bottle of Apfelschorle with my teeth, I knew two things:

1. Never ask a German cashier how they are.
2. If you’re not packing groceries at lightning speed, you’re a public menace.

If you’ve ever unknowingly violated a foreign country’s unspoken rule abroad, congratulations!

Now you know what it’s like for visitors facing their own Great American Culture Shock, here at home.

Below are 9 American customs that confuse the hell out of visitors… and exactly how to survive them.

1. Tipping Is (Basically) Mandatory

Why It’s Confusing:

When I first moved to France, I thought I had cracked the dining-out system: pay the bill, possibly round up if you liked the server, leave, no math required.

Imagine my horror when I visited the U.S. after years abroad, only to be handed a receipt with three different tip percentages suggested.

It felt less like paying for a meal and more like a pop quiz I hadn’t studied for.

How to Handle It:

• Always check if the tip or gratuity is included before paying, some restaurants add it automatically, especially in “touristy areas” (New York City, Miami, San Francisco, etc.).
• Carry small bills for tipping in restaurants, taxis, and hotels. Nobody wants to be the person stiffing a hardworking server because they only have a hundred-dollar bill (and good luck trying to pay with a $100 bill).

2. “How Are You?” Doesn’t Mean What You Think

Why It’s Confusing:

Back when I lived in Georgia (the country, not the state), I greeted my local shopkeeper with an American-style “How are you?”

He looked at me like I had just proposed marriage, then launched into a ten-minute breakdown of his life, including the price of eggs, his neighbor’s divorce, and his knee pain.

That’s when I realized outside of the U.S., people take this question seriously.

How to Handle It:

• If an American asks, “How are you?” just say “Good, thanks! How about you?” and move on.
• If someone walks past without stopping after asking, congratulations, you’ve just been hit with the American version of ‘Hello.’

 3. Smiling at Strangers Is Normal

Why It’s Confusing:

In Ukraine, my first winter there, I walked around grinning like the friendly American I was.

Nobody smiled back.

Instead, I got suspicious side-eyes, as if I was planning something deeply sinister.

I later learned that in many countries, a random smile can make you look either simple-minded or like you’re about to scam someone.

How to Handle It:

• If someone smiles at you in the U.S., it’s just politeness. A nod or a slight smile back is perfectly acceptable.
• It doesn’t necessarily mean they want to start a conversation. Unless you’re in the Midwest, in which case, good luck escaping.

4. Prices Don’t Include Tax

Why It’s Confusing:

One of my first memories of total confusion in the U.S. was buying a sandwich, pulling out exact change like the prepared adult I thought I was and then the cashier told me I was short.

Because unlike most of the world, the price tag in America is a lie.

How to Handle It:

• Always expect your total to be higher than what’s listed.
• Sales tax varies by state, so if you’re traveling, mentally add 5–10% to everything.

5. Customer Service Is Almost Too Friendly

Why It’s Confusing:

A friend of mine, a fellow teacher from Poland, once walked into a U.S. store and nearly sprinted out when an employee enthusiastically greeted her at the door and asked if she needed help.

In many countries, retail workers leave you alone unless you specifically seek them out.

In the U.S.?

They are there, they are ready, and they are watching.

How to Handle It:

• Just accept it. It’s part of the service culture, especially since many employees rely on commissions or tips.
• A simple “I’m just looking, thanks”, will keep you from being shadowed down the aisles.

6. Personal Space Is a Big Deal

Why It’s Confusing:

I once made the mistake of standing too close to someone in a checkout line in Bangkok.

They didn’t budge.

They didn’t even notice.

Try that in America, and you’ll be met with a slow, horrified side-glance. Americans love our personal space.

How to Handle It:

• Keep about an arm’s length away from others in lines or conversations.
• If someone steps back, don’t take it personally. They just need room to breathe.

7. Credit Cards Are King

Why It’s Confusing:

In North Macedonia, cash is still king.

In the U.S., it’s the opposite, paying with cash is about as rare as spotting a unicorn.

Try handing a $100 bill to a cashier, and watch them hold it up to the light like they’re in a crime lab.

How to Handle It:

• Have a credit or debit card ready, some places, especially in big cities, don’t accept cash at all.
• If using cash, expect to receive coins, because unlike many places in Europe, there’s no rounding up.

8. Free Refills Are the Norm

Why It’s Confusing:

In Spain, I ordered a soda at a café, finished it, and waited.

And waited. Because in most of the world, when you pay for a drink, you get exactly one.

In the U.S., the waiter will automatically refill your glass until you beg them to stop (although with shrinkflation, greedflation, or whatever you want to call this latest economic trend, it’s becoming less and less common).

How to Handle It:

• If you don’t want refills, just say so. Otherwise, be prepared for an endless supply of soda (and calories, and added centimeters to your waistline… lol).
• Don’t expect this at fancy restaurants, it’s mostly a casual dining thing.

9. Public Restrooms Are Free… But Often Lacking Privacy

Why It’s Confusing:

In France, I once had to pay 50 cents just to use a public restroom.

In the U.S., bathrooms are free (sometimes, only for paying customers), but at what cost? 

If you’ve ever stepped into a stall and noticed the glaring gaps between the door and frame, congratulations… you’ve just unlocked one of America’s worst design flaws.

How to Handle It:

• If privacy is a concern, use restrooms in hotels or department stores, they tend to be better maintained.
• Accept that someone will probably make awkward eye contact with you through the stall gap. It’s just part of the experience (a creepy one at that).

Understanding American Culture Without the Confusion

If you’re traveling to the U.S. for the first time, prepare yourself. These unwritten rules aren’t in the guidebooks, but they will absolutely shape your experience.

You’ll be expected to tip, you’ll have a stranger smile at you for no reason, and your drink will never be empty for more than ten seconds.

But here’s the thing, that’s what makes travel fun.

Every culture has its quirks, and the more you embrace them, the smoother your experience will be.

Who knows? 

You might even start to like free refills and excessive small talk.

So tell me, what’s the most confusing American habit you’ve encountered?