If you haven’t dreamt of seeing the world and going abroad, then you should go for it.
Unfortunately, you will have to leave a few things back at home in order to pursue your dreams of going abroad. One of those is leaving your parents behind.
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Should I leave my parents and go abroad?
If you have a close relationship with your parents, especially if you live at home, this may be quite difficult.
However, if your relationship with your parents is on solid ground, then of course they will want you to pursue your dreams. Even if that means leaving them behind.
Though, leaving your parents behind and going abroad does not necessarily mean forever. Leaving your parents behind while you go abroad doesn’t also mean that you will never see them again.
In fact, your parents may actually be proud of you for having the independence and the drive to want to do something that perhaps, they have never done before.
Seeing a foreign land, learning about new cultures and picking up a language or two. These things will enrich your life and your parents may actually be quite supportive.
Who knows, they may even want to visit you while you’re abroad in your new country.
How to tell your parents you’re moving abroad.
If you are close with your parents, then they may already have an idea that you want to move abroad. So telling them that you want to move abroad, might not be such a shocker.
However, when you do tell your parents that you’re moving abroad, you will want to of course, have a plan.
Let them know that your decision has been thought through and that you have a plan about how you’re going to do this.
The more thought out your plan is, the more comfortable they may feel about your move abroad. When you plan your move abroad, you should tell them why you’re moving abroad, where you plan on living and what you plan on doing while about, such as working, learning a new language etc.
Also, they’ll want to know how you’ll end up supporting yourself while abroad as well.
If you have a job lined up, you’ll want to tell them all about that too. You’ll also want to register with your local embassy when you’re abroad as well.
In addition, you can give your parents information, their address, phone numbers, how to contact, etc. to your embassy. You’ll also want to tell your parents about this. These steps may help them feel a little more comfortable knowing that you’re not moving to a foreign land without any contacts at all.
Let’s not forget that the internet, social media, etc. will make it much easier for your parents and you to keep in touch.
You can have Skype calls or Zoom calls from across the planet. These will help them feel more comfortable, since they will be in regular contact with you as well as see your face.
My parents don’t want me to move abroad.
There may be a good reason why your parents don’t want you to move abroad. Perhaps your plans aren’t thought through.
Perhaps this could be a spur of the moment type of decision. Maybe your parents have centered their whole lives around you and suddenly feel like you are going to be breaking these bonds that they have with you.
There could be a variety of reasons why your parents don’t want you to move abroad.
You need to think of these reasons and have counter reasons that will reassure them that your move abroad will help you grow as a person.
There comes a point in a person’s life where you may have to cut the cord or at least extend the bonds that you have with your parents and other loved ones.
The more stable footing you have in the reasons why you’re moving abroad and the more thought out your plans are to move abroad, the better your parents will feel about your move.
How do you deal with the guilt of moving away from elderly parents?
Dealing with elderly parents and the guilt you may feel by moving away from them is something you will have to think about seriously.
Perhaps you’re moving abroad and your parents are still young enough to have their own lives, jobs, activities etc. where it won’t be too difficult for you to move away from them.
However, if you are a long-term expat and have been abroad for many years, the thoughts of your parents getting older and less independent do begin to weigh on you.
These are things that you should think about beforehand, if you haven’t moved abroad yet.
Though, if you’re an expat and have lived abroad for many years, the guilt does start to build up the older they get and the longer you’re away. So how can you deal with this?
You can start by making an effort to go back home and visit your elderly parents more often. You will also want to make sure when you do visit home, that they are able to handle their day-to-day lives on their own without much difficulty.
Additionally, the longer you are away, the more you will want to be in touch with them.
The advances in internet telephony like Zoom and Skype, where you can actually have face-to-face conversations, helps make this transition easier on you and them. This will make you dealing with the guilt of being away from your elderly parents a little easier to deal with.
There may come a point though, where you will want to spend more and more time back home with your parents.
In addition, you’ll want to help ensure that they do have a support network while you’re away.
It’s ironic because when we move abroad, one of the first things we worry about and our parents worry about as well, is our own network of people we can call upon or depend on, if times get tough.
However, as you get older and your parents get older the more the shoe is on the other foot.
You will want to help ensure that your parents also have a strong social network back home as they get older as well.
Needless to say, there will come a point where you will need to decide whether or not you need to be closer to your parents in their elderly years. Even if that means moving back home.
Living abroad away from parents and how to include them in your life.
With modern technology and availability of the internet, you don’t have to look far in order to include your parents in your life while you’re living abroad.
Being away from family, your parents, other loved ones and friends can be quite trying. But there are ways for you to actually make them a part of your day-to-day life abroad.
Of course, nothing can replace face to face in person contact, but with some of the tools you have available you can try to make up for it.
First as I talked about above, is Skype or Zoom. You can now have conference calls and see each other face to face.
You can talk every day, every other day, every week etc.
Another way to keep in touch and to include your parents in your life abroad would be to take photos of your area, your apartment, your neighborhood and the sites of the town or city you’re in.
If you’re into filming, you can even take your cell phone and make videos of your daily walks, the people you’ve met etc. in your new country.
Parents like photos, especially with their child in them, regardless of how old you are. So try to get some of those to them as well.
Nothing can replace good old-fashioned letters though. So you might want to either write a nice weekly email or send them a few texts throughout the day or week.
Don’t forget, as I mentioned above there’s nothing that can replace in person contact. So maybe your first year brought you might want to take a couple trips back home if you can do it two or three maybe.
These are just some of the ways you can include your parents into your life while you’re living abroad.
What are the psychological effects of moving to another country?
The psychological effects of moving to another country can be either positive or negative.
The positive psychological effects can be an overall increase in your confidence levels and your self assertiveness.
It will also help you become more independent minded and for you to look for solutions to newer issues much quicker than if you stayed at home.
However, the negative psychological effects of moving to another country can be first and foremost, homesickness.
Also the strain of relationship ties with your parents and other family members as well as your friends that you’ve left behind.
Getting around a new country with a new culture and language can also be quite daunting to those who have led pretty sheltered lifestyles.
In fact, many of the new sensations you feel can be quite overwhelming.
Even things like unfamiliar smells, sounds and tastes can be quite disorienting.
However, to overcome all these and to make the most out of your experience abroad you should remember why you went abroad in the first place.
Basically, that is for the adventure of it.
New opportunities that await you can only manifest themselves if you’re able to muster up the courage and seize them. Make the most of your situation abroad and grow from it.
Getting over the guilt of moving abroad and away from your parents.
At the end of the day, if you have a solid relationship with your parents, then they will eventually understand.
Despite the concerns, worries and guilt that you may feel from your conversations with them, you should know that they are probably bragging about you or will brag about you to their friends about how independent you’ve become.
The adventure that you are living overseas, meeting new people from different cultures, learning new languages etc. You will make your parents proud of your move abroad and taking a few chances they never would have taken.
Many times parents live their lives vicariously through their children. And what better way for a parent to live vicariously through you than your trip and your move abroad.
If you follow some of the advice I’ve given above and make a true effort to keep in touch with your parents, you will find the transition is much easier than you thought.
You can actually turn this moving broad experience away from your parents into something that bonds you closer together in a deeper and more meaningful way.