10 American “Absurdities” That Are Actually Genius And The World Should Copy

Wait… Was America Actually Right About These?

These Mocked U.S. Customs Are Secretly Brilliant and No One Wants to Admit It

Have you ever stood in a Romanian laundromat, staring at your jeans hanging stiff on a wire rack, wondering if you’d accidentally entered a prison-themed Airbnb? 

That’s me. 

Right after cursing the sun for refusing to shine and considering whether crunchy towels should be classified as exfoliation tools, it hit me. 

This was supposed to be more authentic.

More European. More enlightened.

Bullshit!

The truth? I missed my big, dumb, and beautiful American dryer.

Living in Ukraine, Georgia, Albania, France, and even the mystical magic of walking the Camino in Spain, I’ve had plenty of moments where I looked around and thought, “Yep, this is definitely more cultured.”

But I’ve also had just as many where I whispered, “Okay, this would be better with a Costco and a Target run.”

Everyone loves to bash American culture, especially once they get a whiff of freshly baked croissants in France or sip espresso on a sleepy Italian street corner.

But after more than two decades abroad, I’ve got a controversial take. 

Some of the very things people love to mock about the U.S.? 

They’re not dumb.

They’re genius!

Actually more countries should be stealing them outright.

In this article, I’m going to break down nine so-called “absurdities” from back home that, despite the ridicule, actually make life easier, smoother, and in some cases, way more livable.

If that sounds insane, keep reading.

You just might start to question the absurdity too.

1. Free Refills: The Glorious Symbol of Hope and Optimism

I found this one out the hard way in a sleepy café in France. I asked for a refill on my Coke and got a look like I’d asked the waiter to wash my car.

In Ukraine, I got a second juice and a second bill, with a smile that said “you’ll learn.”

Meanwhile, in the U.S., your drink cup is a bottomless portal to sugary happiness.

The first time I came home and got a refill without begging or paying again, I nearly teared up.

Questioned Absurdity: Sometimes “excess” is just hydration with benefits.

2. Giant Dryers: Because Crunchy Towels Are a Crime Against Humanity

Ukraine broke me. There I was, trying to dry my clothes on a cold balcony in minus winter degree temperatures with a folding rack made of bent wires and better days.

My socks looked like flattened popsicles.

In Bulgaria, I had towels that could double as sandpaper.

I’m all for saving the planet, but I draw the line at drying off with something that feels like a tortilla chip.

Questioned Absurdity: Convenience doesn’t have to mean carelessness.

3. Customer Service With a Smile (Even if it’s Fake)

In America, customer service is practically performance art.

You get a “Hi, how are you today?” even if the cashier is dead inside.

Abroad? 

In Poland, the woman behind the counter didn’t speak.

She just pointed at the register and acted like words were an extra charge.

In Albania, I asked for a coffee and got an espresso with a side of existential dread.

Call me soft, but I’ll take the fake smile and forced cheer over being treated like an inconvenience.

Questioned Absurdity: I’ll take fake-friendly over real-rude any day.

4. 24/7 Everything: I Need Duct Tape and Nachos! Because Life Doesn’t Happen on a Schedule

In Spain, I once needed duct tape and cold meds after 6 PM.

Everything was closed except for a tapas bar, and unless I planned to patch my plumbing problem with Manchego cheese and Rioja, I was out of luck.

In Ukraine, I ran out of toilet paper late on a Sunday. The supermarket was locked up like a bank vault.

My only option was a café that sold espresso and sympathy. I asked for extra napkins.

They gave me three. I needed about twelve.

Then there’s America, where I can wander into a CVS at 2 AM and leave with duct tape, frozen pizza, nasal spray, and a birthday balloon.

If I really wanted to, I could drive through a pharmacy window and ask for ice cream without getting arrested.

Say what you want about American style capitalism, but when your faucet is leaking and you’re sneezing through a crisis, that 24/7 store with too much fluorescent lighting starts to look like a sanctuary.

Questioned Absurdity: The clock doesn’t care. Neither should your store.

5. Portion Sizes: More Food, Less Judgement

In Italy, I ordered a plate of pasta that looked like it was designed for a toddler’s tea party.

In France, I ordered a salad that could’ve fit on a coaster.

I get the whole “moderation” thing, but let’s be honest here.

There’s a certain joy in not leaving a restaurant still hungry. 

I don’t want my dinner to be delicate. I want it to have substance.

Bonus points if there are leftovers.

Questioned Absurdity: There’s nothing wrong with a little abundance.

6. Air Conditioning That Feels Like a Right, Not a Luxury

Living in Georgia (the country, not the state), I realized quickly that A/C is viewed like black magic. “Open the window,” they said.

It was 96 degrees and the breeze was coming from a guy chain-smoking outside.

In the U.S., we walk into stores that feel like meat lockers. 

It may not be subtle, but at least you don’t feel like you’re melting into your own clothes.

Questioned Absurdity: Comfort shouldn’t be seasonal.

7. The Ice Obsession: It’s Not “Extra,” It’s Necessary

My first summer in Ukraine, I asked for ice in my drink.

The waitress returned with a single cube in a shot glass, looking confused and slightly amused.

In Italy, you get a raised eyebrow.

In France, it’s borderline taboo.

But on a scorching day in southern Spain, my entire body craved something cold and crisp.

The U.S. may overdo it with the ice, but at least we know what relief tastes like.

Questioned Absurdity: Ice isn’t weird. It’s science.

8. Tipping Culture: Incentivizing Not Being Ignored

In many countries I’ve lived or traveled in, tipping is either optional, insulting, or both.

A friend of mine, who had spent some time in Japan, told me that leaving a few hundred yen on the table got him chased down the street.

Meanwhile, tipping in the U.S. has its problems.

It’s gotten excessive, like a lot of things in America.

Then again, we’re also the country that says, “Nothing exceeds like excess.”

Still, tipping usually means your server will remember you exist too.

As awkward and flawed as it is, tipping is often the difference between being served and being ghosted.

Questioned Absurdity: Incentives work. Even awkward ones.

9. Drive-Thrus for Everything Because Time Is a Nonrenewable Resource

A teaching colleague of mine from the UK once mocked drive-thru pharmacies.

Until he spent two months in the U.S. with his toddler and got to pick up antibiotics without getting out of the car.

Drive-thrus might be the most unfairly mocked American invention.

I once grabbed Thai food, dry cleaning, and a gallon of milk without stepping outside.

I’m not lazy. I’m just efficient.

Questioned Absurdity: Lazy? Maybe. Efficient? Absolutely.

10. Obsessive Labeling: Warning Signs on Everything Actually Work

I used to laugh at American warning labels.

“Caution: Coffee May Be Hot.” Really? 

What’s next, “Don’t Iron Clothes While Wearing Them”?

Then I moved abroad.

In Ukraine, I bought what I thought was yogurt. It was sour cream.

In Bulgaria, I grabbed a bottle of what looked like juice. It was apple cider vinegar.

In Spain, a fellow pilgrim on the Camino tried to use topical muscle rub as sunscreen.

Twice!

In the U.S., you might roll your eyes at a label warning you not to eat silica packets.

But at least you know exactly what you’re getting, and what not to do with it.

Abroad, it’s a linguistic game of Russian roulette, even when the packaging has fruit on it.

Questioned Absurdity: Clear labeling may be overkill, but it beats accidental vinegar smoothies.

Why Absurd Sometimes Works

Say what you will about American “excess,” but sometimes the joke is on the rest of the world.

After more than two decades of living, working, and wandering through places like Ukraine, Spain, Bulgaria, Georgia, and France, I’ve realized there’s a difference between being practical and being pretentious.

The good ol’ USA, in all its ridiculous glory, often lands on the practical side.

So, the next time you’re sipping a lukewarm soda with no refills and your clothes are stiffening into cardboard on a drying rack, remember this:

“A little “too much” might actually be just right.”

What’s one “absurd” American thing you secretly questioned, or wish your country would adopt? 

Let me know in the comments. 

Let’s argue about dryers and drink sizes.